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Recently, I launched the "Xian Yu Answers Reader's Questions" activity. If you have any questions you want to ask, please leave a message and I will answer them in order.

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People often say: "Twenty-three, rushing", this sentence at least shows that after adulthood, it is still possible to grow taller.

But no matter what method you use, you must have enough sleep, a balanced diet, and proper exercise to grow taller. In short, in any case, you still need to eat well, drink well, sleep well, and play well. As for whether it is really long high, you can not expect too much and let it take its course.

But what I really want to answer is not how to grow to 180 scientifically, I want to talk about, at least how to reach 180 in temperament.

The first thing is to wear it. The reason why it is important to wear it is that it is not only a display of beauty, but also a modification of the shortcomings of the body. For example, if a very thin person wears tight pants, it will be more obvious. Thin, wearing loose pants will make the overall thicker. The same is true for height. Although reasonable clothing can not really make you taller, it can improve your temperament and leave a better impression.

The specific content of the outfit contains a lot of details. In terms of physical height, you can choose a suitable hairstyle. For example, boys wear bangs high, girls wear a cute ball head, boys can choose heightening pads and shoes. Girls can choose high heels in a variety of styles.

When it comes to dressing up, you can choose clothes of the same color, narrow or thin H-shaped clothes, and add some tips, such as highlighting the position of the waistline, rolling up the trousers, etc., and when taking pictures , extending one foot forward has become a must-have skill for many girls. Of course, if you refer to the photo of Satomi Ishihara in 157, you can learn more angles and skills. As for these contents, I am not a professional, but I have not seen relatively systematic contents, which requires us to start accumulating learning in daily life, and buying more clothes to practice.

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Let's talk about posture, most programmers have the bad habit of hunchback and chest, standing up also crooked, and even "ADHD". Imagine a young man in his early twenties walking with his back hunched over, his head bowed, and looking around, what kind of temperament is there? Here is a recommended answer I read a long time ago:

"The girl said that he looked straight ahead when he walked, and his steps were steady. Every time he passed by her, he was like a gust of wind, and he did things the same way. Confident and steady, gradually many important things in the class were taken care of by the boys, and he became the core figure of their class.” 』

"Later I began to pay attention to this boy. To be honest, I was also convinced by his aura. For the first time, I felt what a stride meteor is, and the wind is blowing from the soles of my feet. There is a saying "walking like the wind, standing like a pine, sitting like a bell", which must describe such a boy. 』

But during an interview, HR said something to me: "Are your current college students hunched over after sitting in front of the computer for a long time? I see that you walk upright, which is a little different from the ones I interviewed before. 』

You may still need to invest a lot of money in dressing up, but you don’t have to bend your back and often remind yourself to walk with your back straight, but it is something you can do with your heart.

Of course, the content of outfits and posture is definitely more than that, how to match daily makeup, how to improve skin condition, correct sitting posture, standing posture and even walking posture, how to correct existing posture habits, how to laugh in expression management It's best to wait and see. If you search for these contents, you will find that there are actually many contents of each item, and it also takes time to practice and explore to find the most suitable way for you. But maybe that's what makes the difference between everyone.

After talking about the outside, let's talk about the inside. There are many introductions about temperament. Some introductions in Wikipedia and Baidu Encyclopedia are quoted:

Temperament describes how an organism behaves and reacts, i.e. how it behaves. This is deeply embedded in the individual and includes emotions, body movements, attention-related responses, and self-regulation.
Temperament is one of the psychological characteristics of a person's personality. It refers to the stable dynamic characteristics such as the strength of power, the speed of change and the degree of balance in people's cognition, emotion, speech, and actions when psychological activities occur. It is mainly manifested in the speed, strength, and invisibility of emotional experience, as well as the sensitivity or sluggishness of actions, so it has a strong color for all the performance of people's psychological activities.
What temperament shows in society is the sublimation of a person's inner personality charm from the inside out and then the sublimation of a person's inner charm. There are many personality charms, such as self-cultivation, moral character, behavior, dealing with people, feeling of speaking, etc., etc., and the expressions are elegant, noble, quiet, gentle, arrogant, informal, immediate, etc. Therefore, the temperament is not what it says. Moreover, a combination of long-term internal cultivation balance and cultural cultivation is the result of perseverance.

Although there are many ways to describe it, all of them are expressed without exception. Temperament is the inner manifestation and the outer manifestation of individual quality, so it is not so much to improve a person's temperament, not to say that it is a kind of self-remodeling. the process of.

We often have the illusion that reading can break thousands of “juǎn” (juǎn), and everything is solved by reading, so do you have to read a lot of books to improve your temperament?

Of course not. Human character and inner nature can be changed by reading more, but reading is only a method. I also wrote before:

This level of depth can only be obtained by thinking alone, and there are two ways to cause you to think: travel thousands of miles, read thousands of books, in short, practice and reading.

A craftsman who has been focusing on a certain technology for many years, even if he has not read a lot of books, but the tenacity and quiet heart tempered in practice can still be respected.

Therefore, the most important thing is to gain inner peace and cognitive changes through practice and reading, which will bring about a fundamental improvement in temperament.

So what are we going to do?

Needless to say, reading naturally, excellent books can adjust your way of thinking, change your attitude towards life, and have a deeper understanding of life and society. A person's temperament is closely related to the person's level of thinking.

But this time I want to focus on practice. What are we going to practice?

The first is self-worth.

What we do most of the time is the main way we realize our self-worth. For the vast majority of people, this is our job. If we cannot gain a sense of value in the work itself, then this job is killing our enthusiasm, wearing down our minds, and dispelling our inner recognition of ourselves. This kind of work intensifies, and will eventually "work like going to the grave": in deep sleep I don’t want to get up, I sigh on the way to work, but when I arrive at the company, I have to pretend to be enthusiastic and force myself to indulge in work. The way to get off work may be the most relaxing time. When I get home, I start revenge entertainment, stay up late, and repeat the cycle the next day. On the weekends, I often have no interest in doing anything, so I spend it in waste again.

From this point of view, if the work environment has brought long-term inner suffering, and you always seek comfort from things outside of work, it means that you should really choose to leave, otherwise it will be extremely harmful to your mind. Big consumption. Even if one day you finally break free, you will spend a lot of time healing the wounds in your heart.

To put it another way, as the content that we spend the most time on, work should bring us irreplaceable value advantages. The more irreplaceable this value is, the more we will recognize our hearts, which is also the source of our self-confidence. . Confident people are often full of energy and interest, thus entering a positive cycle.

The second is hobbies.

If you regard work as the whole of your life, it will eventually be worth the loss. After a job has been done for a long time, even if you love it again, you will be tired. At this time, you need more hobbies to provide comfort, but hobbies cannot be just Simple, such as watching movies, watching videos, playing games, chasing anime, etc., these things can bring happiness, but as a common carrier of nipple music, the happiness brought by these things is short-lived after all.

Aristotle said in Ethics:

Every happiness presupposes that a person engages in a certain activity or uses a certain ability of the person. Without this premise, there is no happiness.

The happiness we feel is premised on the use and exertion of our abilities.

So don't just consume these contents as a consumer, but think about how to use your own abilities to create something, which will bring another inner filling.

We often find that some excellent people often have a hobby that is completely unrelated to work, but in fact, it is reasonable to think about it carefully. The abilities required by such hobbies are often complementary to the abilities required for their own work. For example, mental workers have a physical hobby, and logical thinkers have a perceptual hobby, and hobbies often It will also complement each other with work and collide with wonderful sparks.

The third is life experience.

There is a saying:

Today, in your temperament, there are the paths you have traveled, the books you have read and the people you have loved.

Although the scope of life experience is very wide, I want to extend it from "the road I have traveled" and "the person I have loved", and talk about two directions, one is "the road I have traveled", which means that we have seen scenery and experiences. Although people are in society, they are also in nature. We often have the experience of being swept away by natural scenery. People’s love for nature is a simple emotion. Of course, scenery does not only refer to natural scenery, bright lights. The beautiful city night view and the peaceful and quiet art exhibition also provide us with a sense of beauty that touches our hearts.

And what has been experienced is not only what happens in travel, but also what happens in daily life. When we are often confused, depressed and depressed, we always hope that something big will happen, split the cold heart, and life will have a huge turning point since then, but in real life, such things often do not exist. , what happens is often a major event that you may not be able to survive. More often, it is such small things, or a cooperation, or an invitation, or a trip, or a party. I often reject such things because they are not in my plan, or because I don’t see any great value. However, it is also because I am addicted to my comfort zone and unwilling to touch pain. On the one hand, I let these “small” "The flow of events, on the one hand, is eager for the arrival of the so-called "big" events, and finally in constant hope and disappointment, and then do nothing.

Another is a loved one, someone we reach out and bond with on our behalf. In the world, people have the need to establish connections with others, especially in human society, we are in relationship with others all the time, family, friends, lovers, colleagues, society and the country. In connection with each other, we will feel needed and needed, which will bring meaning and joy. Therefore, chat more with family members, spend more time with friends, and spend more time with lovers. Hearts are warm. When we treat each other with sincerity, we will gain inner strength, and we will also find peace and tranquility in getting along with each other. A soul belongs to.

Having said so much, it seems to be far from the topic of temperament, but I think that all things that can touch our hearts will eventually turn into nutrients, nourish our hearts, and externally turn into our "temperament".

series of articles

The full list of Xian Yu's answers to readers' questions: https://github.com/mqyqingfeng/Blog

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