Xian Yu answers the reader's question: Brother Xian Yu loves you

foreword

Recently, I launched the "Xian Yu Answers Reader's Questions" activity. If you have any questions you want to ask, please leave a message and I will answer them in order.

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First of all, thank you so much for loving me, what could make an author happier than a reader's love?

This reminds me of a TV series called "Youth School". There is a plot in which the father played by Zhang Jiayi persuades the daughter played by Zhao Jinmai not to give up reading. Through the ancient version of the Internet catchphrase, the daughter is impressed.

Daughter said:

"Lao Lin, you are too skilled, I'm going to start fanning you"

Father said:

"You are not a fan of me, you are a fan of poetry and literature"

Therefore, I think that this kind of love is an affirmation for me and a kind of expectation for me.

Of course, I don't use this example to boast that I have "poetry and book spirit". I have indeed read a lot of books, but most of them are reference books. It is only in recent years that I have started to read a little bit of humanities and social sciences. I feel deeply that my understanding of this world is still very narrow, and there is still a long way to go before "there is poetry in the belly".

So on this question, I'm not talking about how to have poetry and books, I want to talk about, in my opinion, what qualities will people like? Or, what kind of people should we be?

The first thing I want to say is to be a warm person. But just like the sun, being able to warm others is because the sun itself glows and heats up, so the premise of being a warm person is that you also have energy, but this energy has nothing to do with status and achievement, but refers to a positive state , or persistence, or optimism, or idealism, or fun, you have a positive energy in yourself, you can touch and warm others.

If you have energy, but you are unwilling to help others, this is still not a warm person. If we talk about helping others, we may have to talk about the difference between kindness and weakness, sincerity and trust, empathy and empathy. , but a quality that touches human nature like kindness cannot be improved by reading a few articles, so instead of advocating for everyone to do empathy exercises, I recommend that you experience more, go out more, and spend more time with people. Connect, read more good books, experience more things, and naturally there will be more people and things that can empathize .

Although I hope that everyone can warm everyone around me, not all people are worthy of being warmed, or, not all people are willing to be warmed, or, not all people are willing to accept some kind of warmth. The way of warmth is like the warm sun in winter, it is very warm, but not all people are willing to go out to bask in the sun, and even complain, it might as well be a rainy day, so that I have a reason not to go out , so no matter what we do, we will always encounter some ignorance, indifference, and even ridicule, but it doesn't matter, the most important thing is that we have established our own principles and way of existence. Those who give warmth will not feel cold , and those who pour cold water will not feel cold. A person, after all, has his own suffering to go through.

The second thing I want to say is to be an upright person, but the integrity I want to talk about here does not mean to pursue fairness and justice, not be afraid of force, be upright, and stick to the right path. Of course, these are also very important, but I What I want to express more is that integrity is having the courage to stick to one's own beliefs .

In the 27th chapter of "Gintama", Tufang asked Yinshi, "I don't care if you die, I just don't understand, what are you going to do to die?" Yinshi replied: "Anyway, if you don't go, I will die too, and I have an organ. It's more important than my heart, although I can't see it, but it's in my body, because of it I can stand up straight, even if I stumble, I can walk straight forward, if I don't go, it will stop me Broken, my soul will break in the middle, and I value it more than my heart stops beating."

This may be Gintoki's insistence on the samurai's belief, but it also shows that integrity is really difficult. Integrity also includes the ability to insist on what you think is right, to be resolute when needed, and to openly oppose you and confirm that it is wrong stuff. If you don't hold on to it once, the belief is no longer a belief, and it is difficult for people to return to the past. Of course, as far as our daily life is concerned, we don't need to face life and death choices like in anime, but in daily life, people who have their own principles and stick to them are very attractive.

The third thing I want to say is to be a free person. Here I directly quote the circle of friends I sent:

What is freedom? Do what you want to do and refuse what you don't want to do is freedom.

In doing what we want, is it freedom to do what we want? This makes us slaves to desire, biological instinct, not true freedom.

True freedom is to act according to our will, reason, and to follow our own principles. This means that true freedom requires overcoming biological instincts, suppressing desires, and accompanying pain, but at the same time it is hopeful, growing, and meaningful.

But in this society, due to various factors, there are many unfreedoms. Some people are afraid of pain and indulge in their comfort zone. As a result, the area is getting smaller and smaller. This is a kind of unfreedom. Some people persist for the sake of perseverance, and suffer inwardly. This is a kind of unfreedom. Some people have paid huge sunk costs, but have been suffering inwardly and are unwilling to give up. This is a kind of unfreedom.

I hope to be free, I hope I have the wisdom to realize these unfreedoms, I hope I have the courage to change these unfreedoms, I hope I have the ability to subvert these unfreedoms.

The fourth thing I want to say is to be a consistent person. What I want to say a little more here is the difference between action and thought.

There is such a story in "Zizhitongjian". King Anli, the king of Wei Guoguo, asked Kong Bin, who is the highest scholar in the world? Kong Bin said, "There is no such thing as a perfect gentleman in the world. If you want to be second, then Lu Zhonglian is barely one." King Anli shook his head and said, "I am afraid that Lu Zhonglian is not a good person either. First, his behaviors are forced on himself, not the natural expression of his nature." At this time, Kong Bin said: " If you do more than you can, you will become a gentleman. Standard has always done things, even if he has some dark thoughts in his heart, then he is a true gentleman.

So although each of us has the darkness of human nature, as long as we stick to our behavior and use behavior as the standard to measure ourselves, you are a real gentleman.

To sum up, be a warm, honest, free and consistent person.

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The full list of Xian Yu's answers to readers' questions: https://github.com/mqyqingfeng/Blog

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