Xian Yu answered the reader's question: What is the meaning of life?

foreword

Recently, I launched the "Xian Yu Answers Reader's Questions" activity. If you have any questions you want to ask, please leave a message and I will answer them in order.

The main body of the article was written more than a year ago. At that time, I was struggling to think about the meaning of life, so I wrote this essay. Just as a classmate mentioned the question of the meaning of life, I let this essay reappear in my draft box. You share some of my thoughts at that time. Now it seems that some places are very shallow, but asking for individual thoughts can inspire everyone.

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What is the meaning of life? Although I am not a philosopher, I have often pondered this question, and the thirst for an answer to this question has been particularly acute in the past two periods.

The first time was when I was inactive in my senior year, I didn’t want to study, I didn’t want to work, I didn’t know what to do in the future, but I didn’t want to make hasty decisions. The second time was after work, when I felt like moving bricks every day, I felt it was meaningless, I decided to leave but I had to wait until the year-end bonus.

In the solution over and over again, I still haven't found a suitable answer, but I also suddenly realized that maybe I don't really want to be like a philosopher, seeking the answer to this question, I just want to escape from reality and don't want to look around People are trying and I'm still standing still, thinking I'll catch up with the answer. It's just that when there is a conflict between ideals and reality, I can't persuade myself to complete those boring and boring things, thinking that if you find the answer, you can feel at ease. I just suffer from boredom in my comfortable life, thinking that finding the answer can relieve anxiety, so the escape from reality, the desire for freedom, and the fear of boredom turn to the search for the meaning of life.

So it suddenly dawned on me that when you think about a question in a different context, with different motivations, the answer is likely to be different. If you think about a unified answer out of the current environment, it may be correct but ineffective, but if you think about it in conjunction with the current environment, it may be appropriate but not permanent.

But the pain of the moment does exist, so I would hope to find a suitable answer for myself, even if it is only temporary. With the changes in life stages and environment, maybe I will seek new answers, but the new answers are not necessarily completely different from the previous ones, but may also be an extension and expansion, so it is very important to record my own thinking in a timely manner, at least Doesn't make you go back to the starting point to re-derive.

Is life meaningless?

If you ask "what is the meaning of life", most people will probably answer "there is no meaning in life".

It really makes sense. From the perspective of space, the earth is just a speck of dust in the universe. In this small world, what is the meaning of what humans do by chance? From the perspective of time, what is the meaning of our lifetime of only a hundred years compared to the billion years of the universe? Thousands of years later, everything will be turned to ashes again, and whatever you think is meaningful will be forgotten and disappeared. In the time and space at the level of the universe, the actions of small individuals are so meaningless.

But if there is no point in simply answering the question of the meaning of life, it feels like it is not enough. If life has no meaning, why don't you just die? Since we are still alive, it means that there are still some essential things supporting us, so there is a need to explore meaning.

Do people need meaning?

But do people really need the so-called "meaning"? What people may need is actually a "sense of meaning".

German sociologist Max Weber said: "Man is an animal hanging on a web of meanings that he weaves." This sentence is to expound or satirize that everything people do needs a meaning, but why do people always need a meaning Woolen cloth?

I think it may be related to human nature, such as curiosity, sense of control, fear of death, etc.

In the exploration of the world, human beings gradually understand the causal relationship. In today's society, the development of science has convinced us that everything has a cause and an effect, and knowing the cause and effect will give us a sense of control over things. Then, human existence is the effect, so what is the cause? In the fear of extinction, the desire to take control of life, let us begin to pursue the cause and effect of life.

So meaning is more like something that people build for their own survival, but people depend on and need this kind of thing. From a certain point of view, the operation of the whole society, in which people are given different roles, is essentially to create the sense of meaning necessary for people to survive, so as to avoid people directly facing the nothingness of existence.

about meaning

Although we cannot directly answer the question of meaning in life, sharing some thoughts on meaning itself can also help us find meaning.

Meaning is given by oneself, and limited by oneself

As mentioned earlier, life has no meaning, but people need meaning. If this meaning is forcibly given by the outside world, when encountering a contradiction between meaning and reality, people often have doubts, and eventually return to the starting point and rethink the meaning itself. Therefore, the meaning of life should be given by oneself, but this does not mean that the meaning given by oneself will not return to the starting point. The society we live in is complex, and the choices we make are inevitably driven by interests and emotions, which can lead us to make radically different choices, leading to doubt and rethinking. It can only be said that the meaning given by oneself is more able to stick to the heart and go on. After all, it is your own life, and you can make choices.

At the same time, if the meaning of life is given by ourselves, it also means that our view of life determines the meaning we can find, and a person’s vision is limited after all, subject to his past experience and thinking, and also There are times and environments, and the answers that can be given are often limited, but they are still applicable to the current self, so continuous exploration and updating are required.

But at this time you may think that life has no meaning, and you need to give it meaning. If life has no meaning, what is the meaning of giving it meaning? Doesn't this feel like a self-deceiving reason to keep yourself alive? In fact, from a certain point of view, yes. But life has no meaning, and people need meaning, so any meaning you give is correct. Since it is given by you and you think it is correct, how can you feel deceived? Individually, all things are meaningless. It is the meaning you give them that makes them meaningful. Since you have given so many things meaning, why not give your own life a meaning too?

meaning comes from life

When we think about the meaning of life, we also look for answers from the books and quotations of our ancestors. It will indeed bring us a lot of inspiration, but it is inevitable that the meaning of this kind of life is often abstracted, and instead it seems pale and ungrounded. And if we take ourselves out of the timeline of life, strip away the world and the environment in which we live, and examine our life behavior from the perspective of God, it is also abstract and pale.

Therefore, the meaning of life should come from life. When we lose contact with the real life, no matter how advanced the philosophy is, it cannot help us understand the meaning of life. The meaning of life should come from the refinement and summary of life. If there is no life, what's the point?

So sometimes instead of moving forward and constantly absorbing input, it is better to recall your past:

1. The happiest thing
2. The saddest thing
3. What is your most cherished time?
4. At what point in your life do you feel life is full and meaningful?
5. . . .

Find out what you want from your past life.

meaningful life

Maybe you still don't have your own answers, but you can think about what it takes to live a meaningful life.

1. Connect with people

Humans are social animals, especially living in human society, we have relationships with others all the time, family, friends, lovers, colleagues, society and the country. In connection with each other, we will feel needed and needed, and these will bring a sense of meaning. And if we are isolated and cut off from people, we feel empty. Of course, connecting with people does not necessarily need to be face-to-face communication. As long as you can have a relationship with other people, it is a kind of connection. But the sense of meaning must be deeply connected with people. It's like making friends, in terms of quality rather than quantity.

The foundation of connecting with others is being a good listener, which does not mean identifying with the other person's ideas and beliefs. The key to bonding is acceptance of others and respect for their perspectives. Connecting with others does not mean surrender and weakness. People often have a win-lose mentality in their relationships, such as "If I take the initiative, it means that I need such a relationship more than others, then I am the weaker party. Then I will lose, but I want to win, so it must be initiated by the other party.” People with such a mentality are often inferior and lonely, making both parties miserable. In interpersonal communication, it is impossible not to Those who are injured choose indifference. Although they can temporarily expel pain, they undoubtedly give up the opportunity to obtain happiness. A lot of the time, you just have to do what you do, see the connection with others, develop emotions with others, and let others do what others do. No matter what others do, we have the freedom to choose to stick with it and let it go.

2. The pursuit of freedom

The meaning is given by oneself. After giving it, it is necessary to practice it from the bottom of the heart. It is not driven by feelings and interests. Only then can we persevere firmly, and we will not go back to the starting point to think.

So no matter whether you are rich or poor, live the life you want to live, work hard to be yourself, don’t regret it, don’t give up easily, and work hard for it, it will bring meaning.

3. Challenge yourself

Some people say that to live is to live, and to enjoy life is the meaning of life. In fact, I also agree with it. This is a state of life that many people expect, but the problem is that after this state is satisfied, people will expect a new kind of life. state of life. Therefore, difficulties and challenges with negative meanings will bring us more sense of meaning.

In other words, life lies in tossing and overcoming difficulties, life will be wonderful and life will be full.

As for tossing, don't be afraid, don't think it's a waste of time, as long as you have hard work and dedication, it must be meaningful. Just like "Spring in the Cattle Class", although everything has returned to the original state, the seeds of music have been sown in the hearts of the students, and the future is unpredictable. As long as you keep doing it, there will be qualitative changes in the end. When it happens, it makes you suddenly feel that all the hard work in the past was worth it. In the process of overcoming difficulties, the process may be painful, but the heart must be full of hope. Because pain has nothing to do with "specific things", it's only about "whether it's something you want to do right now".

4. Read and act

As mentioned earlier, the answer to the meaning of life is likely to be limited and short-lived, and for this reason, it is necessary to constantly think and seek meaning. The best of them all are two methods.

One is reading. From the origin of mankind to the present, there have been about 30 billion to 50 billion people around this planet, but there are only a few hundred people who can be called thinkers. Wisdom contains the most profound thinking about nature and society in human history. In fact, there are only 100 such books. Just reading 100 books can actually allow us to understand human beings’ cognition of the world and the meaning of life for thousands of years. Isn’t it worth it?

Another is to act, to try to get moving and let yourself experience something unusual. If we don’t experience something and let our thoughts collide with reality, it is difficult for us to change our thoughts, just as it is difficult for us to truly touch our hearts without experiencing hardships in life. Every hardship and hardship will give us a new understanding of life and a sublimation of our thinking.

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