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Recently, I launched the "Xian Yu Answers Reader's Questions" activity. If you have any questions you want to ask, please leave a message and I will answer them in order.

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Because some classmates asked me to help me write a love letter, I was recently reading the love letter that Zhu Shenghao wrote to his lover Song Qingru, which included this sentence:

If someone asks you, would you rather be a happy pig, or would you rather be a distressed philosopher? You answer: I would like to be a happy philosopher, so that you can show your wisdom.

One more question, what do you do next when you have a glass of water in your hand?

The answer is very simple, do what you should do, and have nothing to do with the water.

In fact, my answer to this question is the same. "If you have the opportunity, will you choose to study off-the-job?", you don't need to enter this setting to answer questions that are out of reality. Anyway, there is no reference significance. When this opportunity really appears, the situation is often complicated. No matter how complete your thoughts are, when it comes time to choose, you may still make a completely different choice, and finally shout out, really fragrant.

In my opinion, this opportunity is the glass of water in my hand. If I am not thirsty, why should I drink water? Do what you have to do.

I believe that many students will choose to study full-time when faced with this problem. If it is a time-travel story background, for example, when you go back to your freshman year, you have already predicted the future. What am I still learning? There are infinite possibilities. Just thinking about it, you can write 10,000-character cool essays. . If it is the story background of parents’ support and postgraduate study, then I may not be willing. Although college life is exciting, I have to take exams. I still have to study a bunch of things that I think may be useless, and then prepare for exams. Maybe I also want to work for a mentor, which I don't really want to do. What I really want to do is to learn what I want to learn freely, and then after the end, be a blockbuster, and then go to the peak of life and so on.

You see, under the option of full-time production, all I want to live is a cool life.

From the perspective of not choosing to quit production, it is mostly from a realistic perspective. I also have some friends who say that they need to spend money on postgraduate entrance examinations. To be honest, in the Internet industry, the impact of academic qualifications is not very large. From undergraduate to master's degree, the income is not high, mainly to create a free and undisciplined living state, The young and handsome brothers and seniors who are greedy for the campus are essentially escaping.

If I really want to be useful for my work, I go home after get off work and learn the skills that I use at work. Unfortunately, these skills are often not taught in universities, and I still have to learn by myself. As for finding a partner, I think this reason is valid, you can go to study full-time because of this, I support it.

But is there really such an opportunity in life for you to be able to study off-the-job?

The high probability will not take the initiative to appear, but maybe we can take the initiative to create it. If you get married, abandon your family, and pursue your dreams, a remake of "The Moon and Sixpence". If you don't have a family, you work to save for a few years, and then leave to live a free life. Want to study? If you want to learn what you want to learn, if you want to exercise, you can go every day with a card. But are we really so self-disciplined?

In fact, think about our past winter and summer vacations, how many times did we really study hard? Isn't that the epitome of our free life? Maybe I can still discipline myself a few days ago, but I start to be sloppy in the next few days. After a long time, I start to want to learn again, and I jump around like this, and I probably can't do anything. That's why I sigh, some people are really amazing, and they do their best for their dreams. You think you are missing a dream, but your ideological awareness may have been a lot worse.

In fact, we will encounter many such dilemmas in our lives. Is it to take a postgraduate entrance examination or a job? Back-end or front-end? Accept or reject? Break up or continue? and many more

I think in the dilemma, the real difficulty is not the problem itself, but the person with the problem. Of course, many times, this person is me. Humans are not absolutely rational creatures, they are easily suppressed by various emotions and cannot move. We've probably been in a situation where when a friend asks us a question, you find that no matter what advice you give him, he can find a good reason why it doesn't work.

Sometimes I feel that this kind of person is just doing things, and they can't do it right or left, and then they are forced to make decisions here, delaying their lives, and making things worse and worse. But on second thought, aren't we like this a lot of the time?

What really keeps us from making good decisions is our fear. Basically all fear is the fear of losing something.

To break through this dilemma is actually very simple, that is, to follow your inner voice, and to accept either one of the two choices, or neither. This is important because in a dilemma, you tend to believe that you only have two options and that there is no third way to go. What kind of choice is the best, the answer is in the heart, but we can't hear it because fear, anxiety, stress, etc. have disturbed our thoughts. If we are willing to choose one of the two options, or neither, we can find peace, calm our fears, and hear our inner voice. A dilemma can make one reject existing options without giving up on them. That's what got us into trouble.

No matter what choice you make, one thing is certain, what you do with your heart, no matter how much upheaval it causes, will have a good impact on everyone. So every dilemma, you can understand it as a test of your determination to pursue yourself.

But remember one thing: procrastination is the worst decision ever!

Everyone is afraid of getting hurt. In order to avoid hurting themselves and others (of course, this is often an excuse), people always delay making decisions when they have to make a decision. People are more hurt to themselves, so I feel annoyed that I didn't make a decision earlier in the past, but next time the same problem occurs, it will be the same behavior pattern. .

Sometimes, even if we keep hearing that inner voice, we will still cover it up and use other things to divert our attention. Then you will have the courage to make a decision, and immerse yourself in the so-called action with such an unrealistic fantasy. Although you have really improved in other areas, in fact, it is only constantly easing the pain of delaying your decision.

Do you say there is any solution? No. If you don't open your mouth and say that sentence, if you don't make that small action, everything will be useless, nothing will change greatly, and all thoughts will be just a mirror image.

We often say that we only have one life, and we often say that it is good to be happy. We hope that such an idea can give us courage. People often think that courage is something that you will not be afraid of when you have it, but courage is never ignorant and fearless. It's when you know you're going to lose before you even start, but you still have to do it, and you have to stick to it no matter what. Quoting "The Courage to Exist":

What is courage? In a nutshell, self-affirmation of existence despite nonexistent threats.

Can the problem of courage be solved? The problem will fall into the dust, but it may not be solved as we expect, "you rarely win, but sometimes you do", and what you do is just a little struggle against your powerless self, what we can control is always It is not the result of the matter, but the self who can choose to fight. It sounds a little helpless, but only in this way, we also have freedom.

Not for others, not for yourself, just to fight against the destiny that pushes you forward, just to prove that you have the possibility to control a corner of your destiny, just to keep a freedom, you are also worth taking a step forward.

series of articles

The full list of Xian Yu's answers to readers' questions: https://github.com/mqyqingfeng/Blog

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